Saturday, December 31, 2011
Pen Pals
In 1996 every family across our country was infiltrated. We received endless CD's in the mail to launch a new internet program called America Online. I was 13 and begged my parents to sign us up and they did! It was an amazing new revolution called "the internet", especially for a young teenage girl such as me, who had strict rules and curfew. Now, I had ultimate freedom online, and I went straight for the teen Houston chat rooms. Since I loved music with an extreme passion, and played clarinet, I created my user name as Muzicbabe. I began searching for other members who were in my age bracket, in Houston, and who enjoyed many of the same bands and hobbies as I did. I found several new friends always adding them to my "buddy list". We all exchanged phone numbers and had group conversations, sometimes with up to ten people, creating phone parties, talking and laughing late into the night. Many of my "AOL buddies" and I exchanged mailing addresses. We sent each other pictures, letters and became pen pals. As the years passed, though, I developed real life boyfriends, became active in after school activities, and excelled with my clarinet in wind ensemble, I strayed from the computer more and more. I graduated high school, and the late night AOL friends simply vanished back into cyberspace, rarely ever thought of again.
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Friday, December 23, 2011
Making A List...Checking It Twice
In the spirit of Christmas, this week’s “how we met” story is about a couple who share their love with others every day.
Steve and Oddny Gumaer are the co-founders of Partners Relief and Development. Partners Relief & Development is a registered charity in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Norway, the United Kingdom and the United States, working with communities impacted by war in Burma. Partners relief strives to provide free, full lives for the children and refugees of Burma.
Do you know the Alanis Morissette song, 21 things? It’s a guitar led and gritty song about all the things she wants in a lover. The point, however, is not the merits of this rock song, it is that I had a list like this too.
In 1989 I decided that living with Phil Anderson, even though we were best friends, was not cool anymore. We lived on the fourth floor of Hua Mark Condominiums, just across the street from Ramkamhaeng University in Bangkok. Phil had this habit of blowing his nose in the shower between yodeling and doing bird-calls;every morning…really. It drove me nuts. He was also a large he, not a lithe she. He liked to eat Turian. I describe Turian, the fruit many Asians refer to as “the king of fruits”, as a cross between decomposing garlic and dirty athletic socks with a suspiciously urine hue to it. How much better would it be to wake up with Meg Ryan next to me than waking up to Phil with his Turian breath and bird calls? So I started hunting for Meg.
Remember that at this time I was still dressing like a 50 year old, wearing aviator glasses (they weren’t cool back then), and dressing in either grey or baby blue button up shirt-sleeves. The exception of course was the very stylish madras cotton ones, colored like a rainbow, reserved for special occasions. I wasn’t exactly Meg Ryan material.
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Saturday, December 17, 2011
Darkest Before The Dawn
John and I met, in all places, in a nightclub.
A few days later over coffee, John told me of his situation: he was an asylum seeker in community detention with no working rights.
John had been forced to leave his home and family in Nigeria nearly four years earlier. Even though the civil war had ended, the unstable and volatile political situation continued to take thousands of lives and threaten the country’s stability. Several attempts had been made on John’s life and he finally had no choice but to flee, leaving behind everything he knew and loved: his career, his community, his family, and his future. He had his life, but had lost everything else.
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Saturday, December 10, 2011
Zen and the Art....A Work In Progress
Frankly, this is not all that unique or, dare I say, Hollywood romantic.
In its basic elements we were both in our early thirties, both divorced, with the usual trappings that go with the status at the time. In addition, Barb was what is now known a a single parent with two boys. We were brought together by a neighbor of mine who knew her from work. We met...became a couple...and sort of decided one day (seven months later) that we should get married before taking off on a three week motorcycle tour of Western Canada and the US. The trip had been planned anyhow--probably the first honeymoon trip that was planned before there were even thoughts about getting married.
By way of background, those were the days when motorcycle touring was a bit of a rage for those in the Midwest.I, of course, took to it as a way of experiencing the world from a different perspective--an activity that drove my co-workers and parents crazy as they could not see how a corporate lawyer could ever be seen on a motorcycle. Barb took to it because it was a way to see the world, and, I suppose, me. It was a real low profile wedding--we both had been there before with the big church weddings and just did not feel the need again. What we both had in common, I suppose, was a spirit of adventure--we were followers of William Least Heat Moon's book--"Blue Highways and I struggled with "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Pirsig.
In its basic elements we were both in our early thirties, both divorced, with the usual trappings that go with the status at the time. In addition, Barb was what is now known a a single parent with two boys. We were brought together by a neighbor of mine who knew her from work. We met...became a couple...and sort of decided one day (seven months later) that we should get married before taking off on a three week motorcycle tour of Western Canada and the US. The trip had been planned anyhow--probably the first honeymoon trip that was planned before there were even thoughts about getting married.
By way of background, those were the days when motorcycle touring was a bit of a rage for those in the Midwest.I, of course, took to it as a way of experiencing the world from a different perspective--an activity that drove my co-workers and parents crazy as they could not see how a corporate lawyer could ever be seen on a motorcycle. Barb took to it because it was a way to see the world, and, I suppose, me. It was a real low profile wedding--we both had been there before with the big church weddings and just did not feel the need again. What we both had in common, I suppose, was a spirit of adventure--we were followers of William Least Heat Moon's book--"Blue Highways and I struggled with "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Pirsig.
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Friday, November 25, 2011
The Adventure Continues
In 1966, I was 18 yrs old and on my way to college. The last thing my parents told me was, “Do not get involved with those Mennonite liberal girls." During Freshman orientation students went to a Professor's home for social interaction Sunday afternoon before classes started. My roommate and I signed up for this event as well as Alice and her roommate. I was attracted to Alice even though she was not as conservative as the girls from my church. We played the game “Booby Trap,” and I sometimes gave her hints on which piece to remove. After eating pizza we got up to leave. Alice was impressed when I opened the door and waited for them to file through. She was quite happy when her roommate and my roommate went first and it just seemed natural for me to walk her back to campus. We talked quite a bit and decided to meet after evening church so I could teach her how to play table tennis. After church Alice got this scary feeling, “What if I don't recognize that guy?” Oh, well, she thought, “I'll go with the guy who is carrying a table tennis paddle.” Yes, we found each other and went to the Student Center, but it was locked. We sat on the steps and did a lot of talking. By the time the evening was over, we felt like we had known each other for years.
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Friday, November 11, 2011
How To Save A Life
As these two writers recognize, there are good and bad people both on and off line. It takes courage to pursue a relationship when your trust has been used up. Sometimes, though, the hero does come "riding in" across the internet lines just in time to save a life.
Before I met Steve, I had been in and out of two long term relationships. It took a lot of guts, but I had broken up with my previous boyfriend of five years to explore my feelings. After I had broken up with my ex, I was participating in some weird on-line relationships. Needless to say, that didn't work out...it was just an experience, that was all. For the most part, I found that (as in any community) the on-line community was filled with people who are good people and people who are not so good.
I had made a lot of online friends over the years and one of them was Steve. Out of all of the people that I talked to, Steve was the only person that I had a genuine respect for. Aside from the fact that we shared the same interests, I saw that he had a lot more to offer as a person. He is the most intelligent person that I had ever met in my life. He is also very sweet, charming, and funny, and shares the same sarcastic sense of humor that I do. It's like I had finally found somebody who just 'got me'.
Before I met Steve, I had been in and out of two long term relationships. It took a lot of guts, but I had broken up with my previous boyfriend of five years to explore my feelings. After I had broken up with my ex, I was participating in some weird on-line relationships. Needless to say, that didn't work out...it was just an experience, that was all. For the most part, I found that (as in any community) the on-line community was filled with people who are good people and people who are not so good.
I had made a lot of online friends over the years and one of them was Steve. Out of all of the people that I talked to, Steve was the only person that I had a genuine respect for. Aside from the fact that we shared the same interests, I saw that he had a lot more to offer as a person. He is the most intelligent person that I had ever met in my life. He is also very sweet, charming, and funny, and shares the same sarcastic sense of humor that I do. It's like I had finally found somebody who just 'got me'.
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Finding Love Where You Lease Expect It
I was in and out of a relationship with a man for eight years. He wasn't the best of men; he had been in and out of jail, but I still thought he was my soul mate. We had grown up together, so I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't care. All I cared about was how he made me feel. I felt special and loved everyday.
Two days before Christmas 2008, this man who had told me how I was the perfect girl for him, and that he loved me, now was not in love with me anymore. It crushed my heart into a million pieces. The day after Christmas I moved out of our apartment. Suffering from anxiety and depression, I was in a very dark place.
Over the next few days, my mom joked around with me about going on an online dating site. With nothing to lose I did. I signed up for a free site and within a few days I came across Eric's profile. I thought he was cute, but he was from a city 300 miles away. I sent him a message anyway. We quickly started emailing each other, and I noticed myself smiling again. He was so funny. We then started to text each other, both of us too shy to actually call. About 3 weeks later, he sent me a text that said "I am going to do something out of character" within seconds my phone was ringing. We talked for about an hour and I remember the whole time I was smiling.When I got off the phone my jaw hurt! From then on we talked for hours on the phone. I could feel myself coming out of that dark place and being able to do things I hadn’t been able to do in months.
Two days before Christmas 2008, this man who had told me how I was the perfect girl for him, and that he loved me, now was not in love with me anymore. It crushed my heart into a million pieces. The day after Christmas I moved out of our apartment. Suffering from anxiety and depression, I was in a very dark place.
Over the next few days, my mom joked around with me about going on an online dating site. With nothing to lose I did. I signed up for a free site and within a few days I came across Eric's profile. I thought he was cute, but he was from a city 300 miles away. I sent him a message anyway. We quickly started emailing each other, and I noticed myself smiling again. He was so funny. We then started to text each other, both of us too shy to actually call. About 3 weeks later, he sent me a text that said "I am going to do something out of character" within seconds my phone was ringing. We talked for about an hour and I remember the whole time I was smiling.When I got off the phone my jaw hurt! From then on we talked for hours on the phone. I could feel myself coming out of that dark place and being able to do things I hadn’t been able to do in months.
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Friday, October 28, 2011
Beetlejuice
Twenty years ago I met my husband for the first time. I was studying for college mid-terms on a Saturday night before Halloween. I needed a break, so I headed down to the Brat Stop on I-94 in Kenosha,WI for some ice cream.The Brat Stop was a one-stop shop for cheese curds and beer, and, if you were in a dancing mood, you could enjoy live music in the bar.
I skimmed the shelves and to my surprise, no ice cream. How could a place that boasted of dairy products not have ice cream? Majorly bummed, I walked into the bar and ran into a friend who waitressed there. She told me to stay for the Halloween party. I wore no costume except for a cut off tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix T-shirt and those awful tapered pants that could make the skinniest girl look like she carried a hot air balloon for a butt.The usual costumes walked by – a guy dressed as a devil, a woman dressed like a zebra, etc. Then I saw two men walk in. One guy was normal except he held a small alien that smoked and held a beer. The other was a dude in Beetlejuice clothing with baby powder in his hair.
I skimmed the shelves and to my surprise, no ice cream. How could a place that boasted of dairy products not have ice cream? Majorly bummed, I walked into the bar and ran into a friend who waitressed there. She told me to stay for the Halloween party. I wore no costume except for a cut off tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix T-shirt and those awful tapered pants that could make the skinniest girl look like she carried a hot air balloon for a butt.The usual costumes walked by – a guy dressed as a devil, a woman dressed like a zebra, etc. Then I saw two men walk in. One guy was normal except he held a small alien that smoked and held a beer. The other was a dude in Beetlejuice clothing with baby powder in his hair.
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Thursday, October 13, 2011
Love Boat
My husband and I met in 1991 when I was on a cruise celebrating my divorce. He was on the same cruise along with nine friends. The water was extremely rough, and I was so sick that I was wandering around trying to get topside for some fresh air. He found me on the stairs,I was looking really ill. He asked me if he could help me, and I answered “I need outside”.He helped me find some open air on deck and introduced himself. At the time I was pretty tired of having guys bolt when they heard I had kids, so my introduction went like this “Hi, my name is Patti and I'm twenty four and divorced with two kids.” As expected he said he had to go meet some friends and took off. The next night at dinner I realized he was at the next table and everyone at my table had just heard the story.They all encouraged me to go apologize for being rude. So, I walked up to the table and tapped him on the shoulder and said “I don’t know if you remember me from last night, but I just wanted to say thanks for helping me and I’m sorry I was so rude.” The man sitting next to him laughed and said "Wow! He wasn’t kidding. He did meet a cute red head last night, we thought he made you up." They invited my friend and me to hang with them that night, and we got to know each other over the course of the trip. He was in Illinois and I was in Pennsylvania, so I knew I could never see him once the cruise was over. I was wrong. He called me often over the next few months, and then offered to buy me a ticket to come visit him, because he knew as a single mom I couldn’t afford it myself. Well, love bloomed and he flew me out once a month for about a year. He did get cold feet at one point and broke up with me for a few months and then called to explain that he was sorry. It was just that after his divorce he really didn’t want to go down that path again, but now he realized he wanted to be with me. His friends later told me they were telling him to call me, too. We saw each other for about six months more and then he said “Why don’t you think about moving to Illinois with your kids, because these flights are expensive and it’s almost cheaper to buy you a house.” Within about three months we found a house that he purchased, and me and my children moved. We have lived in Illinois since 1993 and were married in 2002. We will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary on October 13th and will be together 20 years this Thanksgiving.
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Saturday, October 8, 2011
Finding Home
They say that relationships are mirrors. Women’s and men’s relationships with the opposite sex reflect their inner relationship. Over the years, Melinda had put a fair amount of work into defining and finding her “inner man with heart” - a positive inner masculine figure.
“I had this dream at the time when I’d decided to stop hopping between the US and the UK and finally found home inside of myself. At the time of the dream, I wrote: ‘Last night I dreamt that we met . . . I looked up and saw that you had entered the room and were standing, looking at me and smiling. Your hair was longish, silvery-white and swept behind your ears. Lamp black eyebrows. You were wearing a black suit with a black open necked shirt, no tie, like an artist. I pointed at you and smiled. Even though I had never seen you before, I recognized you. You walked over and sat down across me, facing me. Up close, your face was tanned, a bit full beneath your chin. I cannot recall the colour of your eyes.
Then you stood behind me and covered my eyes with your hands and told a funny story or anecdote which made me laugh. You had a distinct speaking voice with a rich timbre. Then you sat opposite me again and opened a portfolio of your artwork and some other papers. You showed me some paintings you had done on acetate. Translucent paintings in Chagall-like colours – night sky blue, crimson and a deep and wild green.”
Around this time, having finally decided to settle in the UK, stop looking for a mate and just get grounded in herself, Melinda took a trip to Birmingham – at the heart of the UK - for a long weekend to explore the city and meet up with Nicky Getgood, a fellow blogger whom she’d met online. In the course of the evening, Melinda was to meet “the silver-haired, sea green-eyed man of my dreams – Steve.”
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Saturday, October 1, 2011
Pinky and Jean
It was Halloween 1957 when we had neighbors moving in across the street. Being a close knit neighborhood, they were welcomed by everyone. There were seven kids; five girls and two boys. My two brothers and sister and I became friends with them all right off! I was in the 6th grade and Jean was in the 4th. We walked to school together and became best friends. On April 3rd 1958 I gave her an ID bracelet with "pinky" engraved on it, so that meant we were going steady. Through our junior high years we got very close, I even became an usher at church so I could be near her; she was in the choir. Nothing really changed in high school until my senior year when we kind of separated for a bit. The biggest fallout came when I had a girl flown in from Laconia NH for my Senior Prom. After a couple semesters at UMass Amherst, I got drafted in August of 1965 and went to Korea for 18 months. She was seeing someone pretty steadily when I came home three years later, but after being back for maybe a month at the most we got back together. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were married on January 25th 1969. It was a great 35 years till she died of cancer in November 2005.The ID bracelet is still with her. I will never get over losing Jean, but I was lucky to find love again. In 2009 I married Jean's older sister.
She has made these last years a special time in my life.
She has made these last years a special time in my life.
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Friday, September 23, 2011
One Two Three
They say “third times a charm.” I do not know who “they” are but they are right. It took two fits and starts before the charm of love settled within our hearts. Looking back from now’s perspective; it is evident that it was meant to be; that the Lord had locked our paths in an intertwined journey which was irrevocable. But I get ahead of myself.
Our whole love affair began with a journey. Kim Wells and I were on the same trip up Interstate 35 from Austin to Fort Worth with our college group for a special conference. However, we did not know each other. We were in separate vehicles. We came from two different kinds of lives. The group decided to stop for lunch. It was at Taco Bell in Waco, Texas of all places that I met the love of my life. Immediately I began to flirt; and flirt hard. I flirted all weekend. I flirted with her during conferences, between sessions, at meals, before bed, and in the hallway. But when the trip ended and we returned to Austin so did the flirting. She was an artist and her world might as well been a million miles from mine, locked away in the library stacks.
So, the first meeting came and went.
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Saturday, August 27, 2011
The Girl Next Door
We met when she was four and I was one. I would marry “the girl next door”…sort of. Our families leased summer cabins next to each other The two cedar cabins on Barney Point in Colchester were still in great shape and had withstood the harsh Vermont weather since 1928. Vermonters referred to these dwellings as camps, but they were actually rustic, summer, lake houses. The builder made dining room tables, benches, rocking chairs, and a porch swing out of the cleared cut cedars from the joint lot. My dad began leasing this camp for us in 1949.
Martha, my future wife, summered in the neighboring camp with her huge family. She was number nine out of eleven, first girl after five boys. She liked to hang around with my cousin Megs, and did not have too much interaction with me. She and Megs were too cool to be seen hanging around with us younger kids. That all changed as we got older.
In the summer of 1976, she came to the camp visiting from San Francisco where she had been working at the PBS Station KQED. She saw my friends and me hanging around outside of our camp’s front porch, didn’t recognize me, and asked her Mom, “Who is that over there?” Her Mom replied, “Why it's John.”
Martha thought to herself, “Hmm, John certainly grew up.”
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Sunday, August 14, 2011
From Friends to Forever
I am such a hopeless romantic and I love the idea of collecting love stories so I (humbly) submit my own:
In the fall of 2005, I was a senior in college with a wonderful boyfriend, a great house and big plans to go to law school. Then Hurricane Katrina hit and my whole world turned upside down. On a somewhat irrational, and emotional whim I decided to become a volunteer teacher in the Republic of Marshall Islands.
I was assigned to the island of Majuro and placed in a house with 10 other volunteers, nine girls and one guy--Dave. To be perfectly honest, I thought he was cute but...
I found him super annoying. In reality, we couldn't have been more different, Dave spent the year planning a year-long trip to Thailand and I spent it applying to ivy league law schools. That being said, we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean living in a country with no television and limited internet access so there were a lot of late-night conversations and long walks on the beach.
In the fall of 2005, I was a senior in college with a wonderful boyfriend, a great house and big plans to go to law school. Then Hurricane Katrina hit and my whole world turned upside down. On a somewhat irrational, and emotional whim I decided to become a volunteer teacher in the Republic of Marshall Islands.
I was assigned to the island of Majuro and placed in a house with 10 other volunteers, nine girls and one guy--Dave. To be perfectly honest, I thought he was cute but...
I found him super annoying. In reality, we couldn't have been more different, Dave spent the year planning a year-long trip to Thailand and I spent it applying to ivy league law schools. That being said, we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean living in a country with no television and limited internet access so there were a lot of late-night conversations and long walks on the beach.
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Saturday, July 2, 2011
Girl Meets Boy
Mine is girl meets boy and girl goes after boy and wins boy.
Our story is that I had a crush on Kevin, my neighborhood friend, during high school. We first met when I moved to VT my Freshman year. We never dated in high school but hung out. A few years after we graduated from high school he asked me if I wanted to go to a Halloween Party with him that was about a month away. After he asked me out I never heard from him again till "the date" At that point I wasn't sure if it was really going to happen or not. After the first date, we started dating some and when he moved to Burlington, I followed him. I think he might have been trying to get away from me but I wouldn't let him!
Our story is that I had a crush on Kevin, my neighborhood friend, during high school. We first met when I moved to VT my Freshman year. We never dated in high school but hung out. A few years after we graduated from high school he asked me if I wanted to go to a Halloween Party with him that was about a month away. After he asked me out I never heard from him again till "the date" At that point I wasn't sure if it was really going to happen or not. After the first date, we started dating some and when he moved to Burlington, I followed him. I think he might have been trying to get away from me but I wouldn't let him!
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Still Crazy (About You) After All These Years
I first met Hank when I was 16 and a sophomore in high school. I had a good friend at the time who was a few years older than me and out in the working world. He was always talking about how cool his boss was. Well one weekend his boss had a party and my friend took me. When we got there he introduced us and yes, sparks flew and there was an immediate connection. He was so handsome with his dark hair and big beard! Keep in mind that I was only 16 and this man was 24 so he was smart and didn't pursue me. We would occasionally run into each other during the next 3 years and each time the attraction was mutually strong. After I had graduated from high school and was now 19, we ran into each other at a local nightclub. We danced the night away together. We started dating immediately and pretty much spent all our free time together. My parents were a little concerned because he was 8 years older than me and I think they felt he was too old and too much of a "hippee". However he won them over pretty quickly and they loved him too! I guess they didn't need to be concerned because 34 years later, we are still together and indeed still in love. We have 2 adult daughters we couldn't be prouder of and are looking forward to spending many more years together.
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Saturday, May 28, 2011
Entangled In Charlotte's Web
We met in the era of Elvis and Buddy Holly, before the Beatles, President John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, the Viet Nam War, the Civil Rights Movement and the start of the Peace Corps. It was back when the girls’ basketball court was divided by the center line, and if you played guard, after getting the rebound, you could only dribble twice down the court towards the center line to pass to the forward on your team, who was on the other side. It was when there were all girls’ boarding schools, and one girl who was desperate not only to see a guy, but to meet a special one.
There are a few things that you have to know about my school. We were allowed to go home only three weekends a year and Christmas vacation. After classes and sports and before evening study hall, we were allowed to leave campus but only to go on walks that were mapped out to take us on prescribed walks. We were not allowed to go into the town, where OH NO, we might meet a “townie”, and on Saturday night there was either a lecture or a concert. Chapel was every morning and Sundays there was chapel and church. We had to wear nylon stockings under our skirts for dinner, where we had to speak Latin or French. I think you have the picture by now—the complete opposite of American Pie or Glee!
When my school roommate invited me to a co-ed party at her house during the Christmas vacation, I was thrilled. She lived in a town fairly close to mine, and I had just gotten my driver’s license. It was there that I met a tall, skinny guy wearing ugly “birth control” (!) glasses, but a guy, nevertheless, someone who was just exuding potential and was also at home from a boarding school.
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Saturday, May 7, 2011
How I Met Her
When I think about the first time I saw the woman who would become my wife, I think about Sarah McLachlan. Holly looks nothing like Sarah. In fact, if you were going to compare Holly to a modern-day singer, you’d be more on target comparing Holly to a young Tori Amos. But even that comparison does not do Holly justice. Red hair. Green eyes. Freckles. An uneasy laugh; she doesn’t like the shape of her mouth when she laughs.
She had heard about me before she met me. I knew one of her friends. He’s a cool guy, Holly’s friend had told her.
We didn’t say much to each other the first few months we knew each other. Hello. How are you. Going out later? Holly and I didn’t have the same friends. We didn’t accidentally run into each other. We worked together. One night, I bummed a cigarette from her on our break. We sat outside, on the steps of the building at the University of Florida where we worked, and we smoked long past our regular break time. Later that night, I asked if she wanted to meet for ice cream. She did.
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How I Met Him
You do not know that I am married. I do not tell you I am married because I know you will not stay in a relationship with me. I no longer want to be married. I am 33. I am finally able to admit what I think I’ve always known to be true – I am gay, and while I love my wife, she and I are no longer in love. I met you one night in January in order to have sex. We did not have sex that first night. My choice. I wanted a second date, which turned into a third date, which turned into having keys to your apartment and introducing you to my son and telling you that one day he will be your son too.
I have fallen in love with you. We have already started drawing imaginary blueprints for the house we will one day have. A backyard for the kids. A fire escape, because you like fire escapes. You say you want a garden.
I do not have a green thumb, I say.
I do, you say, and I know you do. Your occasional attempts at husbandry – at tending to tomatoes until we can eat them, for example, or nurturing plants in your office – indicate, to me, your inherent belief in the future. We talk about the future, using when, never if. I cannot always see this future unfolding. You do not know how much tending to I need.
We met because our separate roads converged on a night in January, merged, and then diverged, finally, permanently, nine months, two weeks, and one day later. We met because we did. We met because we couldn’t not meet.
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Saturday, April 16, 2011
Being In Love Is A Great Feeling
It was January 28, 2001 and I was 25 years old. It was our barrio fiesta, which we Filipinos love to celebrate. It is a time to enjoy and see friends, while savoring different kinds of food prepared for the celebration. I had lots of friends who came to the fiesta, and there was this guy who a friend introduced to me as a "soldier". At that time I didn't care much, since he didn't catch my attention. For me he was just an ordinary guy. So we all chatted and shared stories of what's happening with each other. What I remember is that we were seated next to each other, and I can say that it wasn't love or crush at first-sight for me, because I barely even noticed what he wore that day. Our mutual friend was surprised that I had a cell phone and asked for my number, not even considering that he didn't have a cell phone of his own. This guy beside me offered to get my number and save it on his cell phone temporarily for our friend. The night ended, and it was early the next morning when I received a blank text from an unknown number. It was, of course, the “soldier” guy. I texted back and he replied that he was thinking of me while he was getting ready for work in Manila. From then on, we became textmates.
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Saturday, April 2, 2011
Summer of '73
It was Spring Break and as a struggling college student I was working as a part time "bookkeeper" in an appliance store. This was really only a receipt recorder (pre-computer days) in a family run appliance store within walking distance of my little, 1900 era, servant quarters. My house was part of a large turn of the century estate that had been sold off in parcels with various types of homes being placed at irregular intervals on the property. It was probably no more than 200 square feet but it had the major advantage of a garden space and a claw foot tub that had somehow survived. I had a 59 Chrysler New Yorker that had belonged to my grandfather but I drove it as little as possible because the gas was an "extra" cost I couldn't afford at fifteen cents a gallon. My boss' son was returning home and in need of a job so they were going to give him mine at the beginning of summer.
I went to Knott's Berry Farm and put in an application.
I went to Knott's Berry Farm and put in an application.
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Saturday, March 26, 2011
Love & Appreciation At Last
I wish I had some romantic story to tell of how we met. I wish I could tell you that I knew he was the one right away and that it was love at first sight. It wasn’t like that at all. First off, we met in a bar. And I’m pretty sure I was pretty tipsy. It was Wednesday night (yea, call it my mid-week stress reliever) and my girlies and I headed to our usual Wednesday night locale at the local watering hole. I’m a happy drunk, so after throwin’ back a few beers and some shots with the girls, I was being my friendly self and saying hi to random strangers at the bar. Mr. Sushi crossed my path and I said, “hello”.Mr. Sushi: What nationality are you?
Me: White and Filipino.
Mr. Sushi: Me too!!
Me: No way! Here’s my phone number.
Done.
I got the traditional 2 day call back and while I’d like to say the rest is history, it wasn’t so easy. We “casually” dated for months and he would tell me he wanted to be “official”, then take it back; he also took back the first two times he told me he loved me. Our first year was rocky. We dealt with insecurities, trust issues….we even broke up once for about 4 months. Then Mr. Sushi got into some trouble. And I was there for him. For ALL of it. This gave him a whole new respect and appreciation for me. I forgave him for the past and after time we formed a new relationship, a more fulfilling one. Two years after all the drama, our relationship now is stronger than ever.
http://amiyourmother.wordpress.com/
Me: White and Filipino.
Mr. Sushi: Me too!!
Me: No way! Here’s my phone number.
Done.
I got the traditional 2 day call back and while I’d like to say the rest is history, it wasn’t so easy. We “casually” dated for months and he would tell me he wanted to be “official”, then take it back; he also took back the first two times he told me he loved me. Our first year was rocky. We dealt with insecurities, trust issues….we even broke up once for about 4 months. Then Mr. Sushi got into some trouble. And I was there for him. For ALL of it. This gave him a whole new respect and appreciation for me. I forgave him for the past and after time we formed a new relationship, a more fulfilling one. Two years after all the drama, our relationship now is stronger than ever.
http://amiyourmother.wordpress.com/
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Friday, March 11, 2011
Fields and Mountains
Kansas girl meets Colorado boy.
Within two weeks, love.
Three years later, he gets down on one knee.
She says yes…
Preface: Sophomore year, I lived in a house with seven other girls called the ‘Lady Plantation’. Our brother house, you could say, was called the ‘Mountain Dewds’ and was a couple of neighboring houses full of guys – 21 of them. Joey lived there.
Within two weeks, love.
Three years later, he gets down on one knee.
She says yes…
Preface: Sophomore year, I lived in a house with seven other girls called the ‘Lady Plantation’. Our brother house, you could say, was called the ‘Mountain Dewds’ and was a couple of neighboring houses full of guys – 21 of them. Joey lived there.
For Thanksgiving, our houses got together at the Dewds’ yellow house – the one Joey lived in. I was sitting on a couch at the Dewds’ with one of the other LP roommates, Ashton. Joey walked in the room with his friend Bryce and was being loud, dropping phrases like “many leather-bound books” and “an old wooden ship” just trying to be “pretentious” and as loud as possible. I thought they seemed hilarious, and quickly noticed that Joey was pretty cute, but I minded my own business. Ashton, who knew the dewds a little better than I did, quietly told me “You definitely want to know Joey Williams and Bryce Benton – they are hilarious! They just seem so funny. You want to be their friend.” I was skeptical and said, “Oh really…? Hmmmm” – not wanting to be told who I needed or wanted to know at all.
“I’m serious!” she said.
“I’m serious!” she said.
. Fast-forward to February 8, 2008. It was Friday night and one of my friends had canceled plans on me. I had nothing to do and was somewhat moping around the house. Ashton was going over to the Dewds’ and invited me to come with. I was not in a very social mood, and initially declined, but eventually caved. We got there and pretty much sat in a La-Z-Boy recliner, watching a few of them play Call of Duty. I was SO bored and wanted to leave. I was telling Ashton we should leave when in walked Joey Williams.
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Saturday, March 5, 2011
It's All Bob Geldof's Fault
I was living in London and looking for something to distract me from the usual sameness of life. One day I got an email from a mailing list I'd joined a few years earlier. The email invited people to join a writing group that had been set up as a vehicle to share stories about Zimbabwe. Though my parents were both born there, I'm born in South Africa, so technically I'm not Zimbabwean. The group sounded like just the kind of hobby I was looking for so I asked to join anyway. The organizers said they'd love to have me along.
The first meeting was scheduled for a date in February, at a small fringe theatre in south-east London. I went along, putting on my best 'Sally Sunshine' face, which is my alter-ego who I bring out when I'm walking into a room full of strangers. As one of the organizers, Patrick was sitting at the head of the table, looking very stern but dignified. I vowed to give him a wide berth, feeling a bit intimidated by his quiet presence!
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Saturday, February 26, 2011
GoodLife
To tell the story of how we first met, I have to take you back 15 years. Yes – for those that didn’t know Dan and I first met at a small little coffee shop on the corner of Wellington and Southdale – and for you Londoners trying to figure out which one that is – I’ll save you some time – it was Country Style and it’s not there anymore – so just like the coffee shop – Our first meeting didn’t result to much.
Our next memorable meeting took place at a New Years party for the new millennium – I was happily dancing around taking pictures with my 2000 glasses on as Dan came in the door with his friends – I took a picture of them and then I’m pretty sure I didn’t see him for the rest of the night
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Saturday, February 12, 2011
A Love With A View
The Mister and I met and started dating over 5 years ago when I was convinced by my 2 male flatmates to attend their friend's birthday party. My flatmates had us married before I had even met him, but like they say, friends know what you are like and who will suit you.
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Friday, January 28, 2011
Some Call Him Beethoven, I Call Him Piano Man
I met Horace in an online chat room. I find it interesting that given the infiltration of the internet into our culture, the demands on our lives which prevent us from actually going out to meet people “the traditional way” coupled with general guardedness and mistrust that there is still an unnecessary stigma to meeting people online – even in January of 2009.
Horace had a greeting in his online profile that said “I’m boring”. I found this rather humorous and sent him a private message asking “what makes you so boring?”
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Saturday, January 22, 2011
It Could Happen
The music was blaring so loud I could hardly follow the conversation of the guy in front of me. Above him on the large video screen Shakira was dancing with reckless abandon, purring into the microphone with so much sexual innuendo that if my mother was in the room I would be blushing. Fortunately, I was not with my mother. I was at Club Cafe, one of Boston's busiest gay clubs, sipping my last gin and tonic of the night, smiling and chatting with a handsome, friendly guy originally from Miami.
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Saturday, January 8, 2011
Please Leave A Message
Matt and I went to the same high school and had some mutual friends, but we never dated, and hardly actually hung out much. Well, about 4 yrs after high school, one of our mutual friends, Ashley (who was actually my MOH), was in town, and we went to a street dance in a neighboring town. Matt was there with some of his friends, and we all started hanging out. After that night, I couldn't stop thinking about him and I decided to call him. I got his number from Ashley and called his phone. He didn't answer, so I just left a message. About 1/2hr later he called me from one of his friends' phones. He hadn't gotten my message, but wanted to call me too! We started talking everyday and have been together since!
http://ourmtwedding.blogspot.com/
http://ourmtwedding.blogspot.com/
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
Digital Dating...The Perfect Date
I turned on my computer and took to the daily task of perusing through the five daily potential suitors selected for me by the internet dating gods. Guy one, hot; yes. Guy two, weird; no. Guy three, interesting; investigate. On closer inspection guy three claimed to spend his days rescuing cats from trees and saving damsels in distress. His pictures told another story; handsome, mostly drunk and often in a suit. At the very least I supposed he was worth a chance. Guy three, why not? Yes.
Matt315e
I was at work and my phone buzzed. Either it was a text from my friend (who Lucy now calls my boyfriend) confirming a man-date or another useless junk email. It was an email. I had a look at it and it was a ‘wink’ from Lucyjayne32. I did the first thing guys do, and looked through the pictures. I was impressed (ding dong) so I thought I would read the words too! I liked what I saw; apparently “rarely seen without a fabulous handbag and a large coffee”, her profile made me laugh, so I thought up some of my best witty banter and fired an email off.
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Mad About Mondays
I used to work in a little cafe, and there was a big, well known coffee co-op right across the street from us. They were always really busy compared with us, although we did have a few loyal customers that always returned. The coffee co-op was always open on the weekends, but for some reason were never open on Mondays. Anyway, one Monday I went into work, and a little while after I started the most gorgeous man I've seen in a very, very long time walked in. He was with some work mates which didn't help the situation because as soon as I made eye contact with him I blushed and couldn't talk to any of them. I also completely messed up his coffee order. I thought he liked me because as he walked out he looked back at me through the window and caught me looking at him, then gave me a little smile and really, we all know that these sorts of situations only happen in the movies!! (I should probably mention at this point in the story that he's really quite shy and doesn't know how to talk to strangers properly).
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