Heart to Heart

I started teaching at Bow High School in the fall of 2009 and Bob was one of the first people I met.
He is the AV and tech guy, so I knew we'd be working together when it came time for my concerts. We got along right from the start and often hung out in my office, just chatting and laughing. He has a great sense of humor and we just clicked, though at that time I was thinking of him as just a friend. The more time we spent together, the more we just liked hanging out. By mid-October I found myself making excuses to go to his office and finding ways that I could see him throughout the day. At that point I realized that I really liked him and I thought he might like me too, but I wasn't sure. He was actually going in for open heart surgery at the beginning of November and he decided to take a leap and ask me out 2 days before his surgery. We went out to dinner and talked for hours. He told me how much he liked me and how he had liked me for months. He had been asking around to other teachers at school to find out if I was married or if I had a boyfriend - he was very relieved when he found out neither was true. His surgery was a huge success and hearing his voice when he called me from the hospital was the best thing I've ever heard. I always tell him that they opened up his heart so I could climb in. We got engaged at the end of March and our wedding is October 2, 2010 in New Hampshire.

The Swallows Return to Capistrano

Anyone in my family could tell you that I have a terrible memory for dates. My husband often teases me that I will someday forget our wedding anniversary. One date I always remember, though, is the birthday of my father-in-law, Bill. He was born on March 19th; the day the swallows return to Capistrano.

It seems fitting that Bill's birth date is renowned for this famous migration. Bill grew up the youngest of five in Southern California. His ancestry goes back to the Basque Country, and his grandfather, Domingo Amestoy, who landed in San Francisco, traveled by foot down to Los Angeles,and allegedly shot a bear along the way. He became one of the area's early ranch settlers.

The Amestoy family prospered and lived at  Rancho Los Encinos, in the San Fernando Valley.
Bill grew up loving the beautiful California landscape and later reminisced over the enormous flocks of birds that would blacken the sky as they migrated south.

When World War II broke out everything changed. Bill enlisted in the Marines and was sent off to fight in the Pacific. His horrific war experiences matched those of many young men, and after years of intense island fighting, he was sent home to recover from shock,stress, and break down.

Go Navy!

 My husband Kevin was in the Royal Navy and in early 1978 he wrote to our local newspaper asking for pen pals. I had always enjoyed writing, so I sent a letter. We carried on exchanging letters and getting to know each other.

Toward the end of the year he came home on leave, and asked if we could meet. As I was only just 20 my dad made him come to the house, we hit it off straight away.

Within a month he asked me to marry him. 

We were engaged by January 1979 and married that July.

Lots of people said we were mad and it would never last.

On the 7th of July this year we had our 33nd anniversary and we are still happy and together.

 We also have two great kids now 25 and 29.

http://www.jollyjillys.blogspot.com/

"Why, I've Met My European!"

My grandmother was one of few women attending university in the early 1920's and probably the only woman majoring in chemistry. As the only female in lab classes and lectures, she was surrounded by men and her mother, my great-grandmother, hoped this university experience would yield a prospective suitor. My grandmother though was not going to be distracted from her studies. She wanted to earn her degree, work, travel and perhaps find her future husband abroad, as she had always fantasized spending her life with a sophisticated European.

Nearly a decade later and well into her 30's, my grandmother was financially independent and had by now seen much of the world during her travels. Her family had long since given up on the idea that she would marry and have a family. Nonetheless, as my grandmother readied herself for a party one particular evening, she still held the faint hope that someday she would encounter the European she had dreamt about.

Two hours into the party and rather bored, she leaned to her friend and whispered that she was ready to leave. As she gathered her things, she heard several party-goers welcome another guest, when she turned to look to see who it was she met the gaze of a distinguished looking man about ten years her senior. They were soon introduced by the party's host and my grandmother returned her belongings and went to sit back down with her friend. Her friend, surprised at my grandmother's return, asked why the sudden change of attitude as my grandmother was not one to change her mind so quickly. My grandmother's response was quite simple: "Why I've met my European!"

Boston to Berlin

I was teaching at a Boston high school in a job that was filled with long days and stress. Going out on a "school night" was never possible. This one night, though, I made an exception.


 Out with a friend for drinks and dancing to some 80's music, I saw this cute guy out on the floor with his friend. They were here on vacation from Germany.


We were the only four dancing, and he danced closer and closer. I needed to rush off to get enough sleep for the day ahead, but I promised to call him.

 He was surprised that I followed up, and the next night while snuggling and watching a movie he said smiling, "You're not just a guy for one night." The way he said it, with his charming German accent, made me fall for him right away.

I'd had a bad experience with a long distance relationship, and I was reluctant to have another,but he was always reassuring and coaxed me through the first few months.

A year later I made the move to Berlin.

I Dated a Spy?

When I first learned that I was to be stationed in West Berlin I was so excited. Never in all my life did I ever think that I would be a part of history as “A Defender of Freedom” in the Berlin Brigade. Patrolling the wall between East and West Berlin was something I had read about as a teenager and now I was being sent to actually take part in it. The United States was in the middle of the Cold War and Berlin was the hot spot to see it firsthand.


I had to go through several security clearances to be stationed here as did all those soldiers before me and after me. We were warned that Soviet and East German spies were all over the place and we were to never talk about what we did or where we were going to those not connected with the military.



To help this situation I promised myself that I wouldn’t date any German “frauleins” , not only so I would not be forced to lie to them about what I did but I really didn’t want to break a young ladies heart because I would be leaving after a year and a half.


After six months in Berlin I met a young American lady who was a dependent, the child of an Air Force serviceman stationed at Tempelhoff. I was 19 and she was 18. Her father didn’t like us Army guys and made it be known that he out ranked me and that he held a very high security clearance to which he was a member of the Air Force Intelligence. His dislike of me made it difficult for him to allow his daughter to accompany me downtown to the discos. Yes, this was the early 80’s and the disco scene was big in West Berlin but he would not let his little girl go out with some infantryman with only a year of college under his belt and barbarian tendencies. It was a relationship which held little hope for a future. However, I wouldn’t leave her because her father didn’t like me. He would just have to deal with me.


Like most weekends I wanted to go out with my friends but she wasn’t allowed to go with me to a bar called the “Kudorf” or Cow Town in English. So my friend Ron and I went out to have a good time. After a few drinks it was now my turn to go and buy a round of drinks for us. As I’m waiting in line I hear the two ladies behind me speaking English. Both were tall, blond and beautiful and had my attention. Being the ever so curious person I asked them where they were from. The taller of the two spoke up and said that her friend was from Texas and that she was from Berlin. I noticed during our brief conversation that they both spoke English without an accent, neither Texan nor German. Strange! I got my drinks and left to tell Ron that I met a young lady from Texas (his home state). After I told Ron about her he decided to have a look for himself.


Soldiers from my company started to show up so I hung out with them when Ron left. About an hour later Ron comes back to us and tells me that he’s chatting with the girl from Texas and the Berliner wants to dance with me. At first I said no! I have a girl friend and I would feel uncomfortable dancing with another girl. He begged me and eventually told me he would buy me two beers. Well, two beers was a reasonable offer and what harm comes from helping a friend in the utmost of situations. Off I went following my friend and fellow soldier Ron, from Texas, into battle.


Ron introduced me to Michelle from “Texas” and Antje from “Berlin”. Wait! No accent. Ron from Texas had an accent. Others in my company were from Texas and had an accent. You know the type I’m talking about. That draw….And Antje from Berlin? I was in Germany and every German I knew (not many) had a German accent, but not Antje from Berlin. Her accent was more British. Not only that, a German man insisted on talking to Antje and my German at that time was not good. It was poor! Not only did I not understand a word they were saying but, when ever this German man would start talking to Antje, Michelle would divert Ron’s and my attention and start asking questions. Of course we were brief and short not saying much except some bullshit about what we did. We quickly brought the conversation back to Michelle asking if she knew what they were talking about. No she did not.


Finally, we asked Michelle and Antje how they knew each other and where they had learned English. They laughed and giggled only like a 19 year old female can and proceeded to tell us they had met in Norway. Norway? No way! They then laughed more and said that she was Pakistani having been born in Lahore, Pakistan. No way! 1984, Cold War, Pakistan, neighbor to Afghanistan, Soviet Union fighting in Afghanistan and back to the Cold War. Not only is that an incomplete sentence but I didn’t know what to think then or now. Why would I think all of this? Oddly enough, I had a similar case a few months before while flirting with a young German lady. Her name I will always remember, it was Magda. Why would I remember her name? Because she had a sister named Eva. Any reader of World War II history would put 1 plus 1 together to get my point. Magda, Eva, Magda, Eva…? Well, Eva, everyone should know, was the name of Hitler’s Bride, Eva Braun. But Magda was the wife of Joseph Goebbels, the famous Propaganda Minister of the Third Reich. Why would someone name their children Eva and Magda? Either because they were Nazis or they were spies. This was a good reason to stop flirting.

Couldn't Be Happier

I was back from the University of Vermont on  break.  Went to visit my high school science teacher in his classroom and saw the “new girl” from Massachusetts.


 She had moved to Vermont when her dad’s company transferred him.  Petite, dark, pretty.  I offered her a ride home.  Her younger sister and brother needed a ride too.  We crunched into my MGA and drove to her house.

Cut to another house, a few years and numerous dates later.  We’re at a party,  home from college on summer vacation.  She’s a sophomore, I’m a senior     Finally she says yes to my request for her hand in marriage.  I promise her father I’ll see to her tuition from college if he’ll let us tie the knot.

With the engagement formalized on Christmas Eve, 1961, I depart for Fort Dix New Jersey and the longest 6 month military training on record.

We are married in late September, 1962, six weeks after my discharge from the Army and three weeks after my father dies of cancer.

We wander – sometimes aimlessly, sometimes with purpose -  through the next 50 years.  Life bangs us up a bit, but soothes the bad times with three wonderful, talented, strong-willed daughters.  They each produce three equally wonderful, talented, strong-willed sons.  The gene pool is a wonderful place for swimming!

 

Today, with Janet’s early-on cancer scare, my stroke and aorta replacement (the tube, not the valve), we soldier on.  A spotted job journey for me – largely in public relations, broadcast journalism, a stint as a Congressional aide, advertising agency owner and retirement  Janet’s 25 year career in elementary education (reading) continues.  I continue to rise at 4:30 weekdays to oversee a 2 hour classical music program.

We have watched our relationship pass through all of the stages, beginning with passion, moving to the child-raising years when not much thought is given to our own needs, to the empty nest and re-grouping of emotion, to the grandparent years which are every bit as fulfilling as the years with our own children.

As we have stumbled through these 50 years, our marriage has survived largely because we have faced the predictable – and unpredictable  -  vicissitudes with lots of humor, teeth-gnashing, fear, hope and, yes, courage.

 

We continue to function as the Bank of Brian and Janet, the arm chair-Freuds, the wizened oracles and the home of last resort.

Us?  We couldn’t be happier.  Younger maybe, or richer, but not happier.

From Fantasy to Reality

Our love story starts out in 2003 with a man and his dog in Dallas, Texas and woman snowed in, in Kansas City, Missouri. I’m originally from Texas so the Kansas City winters were killing me. I hardly even went out to the store let alone dated. Mostly stayed at home and played online computer games. I wasn’t interested in romance at the time.
Meanwhile my husband to be was in Dallas taking his mini schnauzer for a walk. The dog, Willum, slipped his leash and ran off. Hubby to be took off after him tearing though yards and alleys. He stepped in a hole and blew out his Achilles tendon. A neighbor found the dog and brought him home. Hubby went to the hospital the next day for surgery to repair his ankle. He ended up in a wheelchair with a cast on his leg.


Months later still in a cast and going crazy from boredom, he decided to try online gaming for something to do. He found an obscure online multi-player game and decided to try it. I was already playing that game. We met the very first night he was in the game. Somehow we hit it off an started talking. We discovered that we were both from Dallas and that he was male and I was female. An important fact to establish in a fantasy world.
It is a miracle that we met at all. Considering the fact that never one of us was looking for a mate and neither of us left the house much. The cosmos decided to bring us together despite our every effort to remain single.
As the months went by we met and talked in the games for hours. Sometimes until 2 or 3 in the morning. We graduated to talking on the telephone. About a year later we decided to meet in person. I flew from Kansas City to Dallas thinking I was crazy to do this but what the heck. He met me at the airport with a dozen yellow roses, my favorite. I can’t say it was love at first sight because we already loved each others brains and hearts. The seeing part was the last thing to happen in our chain of events.

Island Love

I had traveled to Cape Cod to visit my older sister one weekend. I had left the guy I was currently dating back home and looking forward to a weekend without men.
My sister took me to a party, we had to travel by boat to a houseboat moored off an island in Falmouth and I didn't know anyone other than my sister at the party.
Feeling a little lost among all these people I didn't know and was unable to connect with, I was quietly sitting on deck when another motorboat arrived to drop off guests for the party. A man
in his twenties climbed the ladder to come on deck and he had on a black t-shirt and salt and pepper hair. I have always been attracted to men with gray hair. I'll never forget
what he looked like the first time I met him. I immediately began talking to him and we talked and talked. We connected from the very beginning. We began dating that next
day and were married 8 months later. We've been happily married for 34 glorious years.

Thelma and Larry

I had just graduated from high school.   My parents let me use the car to go to a drive-in movie with my high school friends.   We had so much fun that night that we wanted to do it again. My birthday was coming up in July, so we were planning to go out and celebrate my birthday.  

Well, I had heard a rumor in the church we attended, that there was a family moving to Arizona that had 10 children. I was excited about meeting some new friends.   

On June 20th, we had a Sunday school picnic, and this new family had just arrived in Tucson, so someone invited them to come. The family arrived with the 5 out of 10 children who had moved out with them.  Our youth group spent the afternoon together and later went to a swimming party at someone’s home. One of the new family members came along. This was the man that I would someday marry.

Hey Bike Guy!

It was May 2008 and I had just finished my first year in the classroom when I got it into my head to go on a bike trip. A long bike trip, from NYC to Chicago. So I trained and set off in August, really without too much of a plan. I had planned out where I wanted to end up each day, but had made no arrangements for actually staying anywhere. The first two nights of shady motel and illegal camping were adventurous, but not restful, so I decided to couchsurf, which I had done before both as guest and host. The third night of the trip, I found myself in Binghamton, NY, staying with a funny, strange guy about my age.

So he says he'll meet me at his house at such and such time and I'm there waiting for him. He shows up about an hour late with three people other people in the car: a cute girl in the front seat and two other guys in the back. It's the girl who sees me, leans out the window and yells, "Hey bike guy!" Right away I notice that she is really pretty, but a pretty girl in a car with three guys probably equals boyfriend, so I say nothing. Introductions, but pretty girl leaves with the two guys who aren't my host. It turns out my host and another guy are her cousins; the other is into guys. About two hours and six beers later, I'm at the house playing chess when she comes back. We chat, but still out of the loop and not wanting to embarrass myself by asking, I decide to play cool. She says she's moving to NYC in the fall and could we meet up sometime. I say of course, hoping for it but expecting nothing.

There's A Very Nice Boy...

In this week's Summer Re-Run selection, the author of multiple women's fiction books,Shobbhan Bantwal, shares her unusual "how we met" story. Read about this arranged marriage that resulted in love, partnership, and commitment.Ms. Bantwell has also recently published a new book...just in time for a fun summer read.

THE RELUCTANT MATCHMAKER is the sixth "Bollywood in a Book" by Shobhan
Bantwal.

There's A Very Nice Boy...

Imagine meeting your future husband two days before you become engaged to marry him. If that is the stuff of storybooks, then I should consider myself the heroine of the story.

My husband and I met in India two days before we were engaged. And ten days later we were married. No, it was not love at first sight, and it was certainly not a shotgun wedding. What we had was an old-fashioned arranged marriage. In a conservative culture like ours, back in the early 1970s, marriage by arrangement was the norm and not an aberration.

It is not so much the quick engagement and wedding that seem to fascinate the average American but the idea of marrying a stranger...

A Bastille Day Story

La Fête Nationale

  "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"....it was the year 1789 and the liberation of the Bastille began the bloody French Revolution. In Charles Dicken's brilliant and exciting Tale of Two Cities, Lucie Manette and Charles Darnay survive the wicked revenge of Madame Defarge to have a happily ever after marriage. This week's story demonstrates that although Bastille Day may still have its pitfalls, courage and perseverance can ultimately result in that fairy tale ending we all seek.  
Summer 1991, mid-June night:
A friend and I sit on my porch on a warm summer night.We are drinking cold beer and eating warm tortillas full of beans and spicy rice.It is a perfect night.But I need to leave.A promise to go to a barbecue fulfilled.The barbecue, hosted by a dear college friend, Leslee, could not be blown off.At the barbecue after a bit I sat in the kitchen and had a long, comfortable and intelligent talk with a super woman named Robin. I'd never met her before; at the end of the night I figured I'd never see her again. And it's not what you think.
Bastille Day, July 14, 1991:

Five How We Met Stories

Below are five "how we met" stories contributed by good friend and writer Terrence Moss. In true reporting fashion, Terrence interviewed these couples and wrote up their very sweet tales of romance. Terrence often had to overcome the reluctance of his subjects and convince the couples that they really had a story worth sharing. As he says about himself,
 "Some of the simplest of stories have the sweetest moments. And I’m a moments guy."

For more work by Terrence Moss check out
 https://sites.google.com/site/theterrencemossenterprise 

Doug and Mike

Doug and Mike met on gay dot com. It was an “almost didn’t happen” situation because if Mike had used his previous profile picture of him during Halloween in his pimp costume, then Doug wouldn’t have bothered to private message him in the first place – despite the fact that he had already passed the “cute” test.

From Mike’s vantage point, Doug’s picture wasn’t particularly cute as it made him look like he had a growth coming out of his neck. Nevertheless, Mike was a nice guy and responded.

Love at 30,000 Feet

Love blossoms in the most unusual circumstances...
It was a Thursday evening. Ashley was flying to New York and meeting up with friends to attend a concert. Matt was among a group of travelers sitting in the row in front of Ashley; she could hear him singing lyrics from the band’s songs. Ashley started up a conversation with Matt just as they arrived in NY, and then the two went their separate ways.

Zen and the Art....A Work In Progress

Frankly, this is not all that unique or, dare I say, Hollywood romantic.

In its basic elements we were both in our early thirties, both divorced, with the usual trappings that go with the status at the time.  In addition, Barb was what is now known a a single parent with two boys. We were brought together by a neighbor of mine who knew her from work.  We met...became a couple...and sort of decided one day (seven months later) that we should get married before taking off on a three week motorcycle tour of Western Canada and the US. The trip had been planned anyhow--probably the first honeymoon trip that was planned before there were even thoughts about getting married.
By way of background, those were the days when motorcycle touring was a bit of a rage for those in the Midwest.I, of course, took to it as a way of experiencing the world from a different perspective--an activity that drove my co-workers and parents crazy as they could not see how a corporate lawyer could ever be seen on a motorcycle.  Barb took to it because it was a way to see the world, and, I suppose, me.  It was a real low profile wedding--we both had been there before with the big church weddings and just did not feel the need again.  What we both had in common, I suppose, was a spirit of adventure--we were followers of William Least Heat Moon's book--"Blue Highways and I struggled with "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Pirsig.

Finding Love Where You Lease Expect It

I was in and out of a relationship with a man for eight years. He wasn't the best of men; he had been in and out of jail, but I still thought he was my soul mate. We had grown up together, so I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't care. All I cared about was how he made me feel. I felt special and loved everyday.
Two days before Christmas 2008, this man who had told me how I was the perfect girl for him, and that he loved me, now was not in love with me anymore. It crushed my heart into a million pieces. The day after Christmas I moved out of our apartment. Suffering from anxiety and depression, I was in a very dark place.
Over the next few days, my mom joked around with me about going on an online dating site. With nothing to lose I did. I signed up for a free site and within a few days I came across Eric's profile. I thought he was cute, but he was from a city 300 miles away. I sent him a message anyway. We quickly started emailing each other, and I noticed myself smiling again. He was so funny. We then started to text each other, both of us too shy to actually call. About 3 weeks later, he sent me a text that said "I am going to do something out of character" within seconds my phone was ringing. We talked for about an hour and I remember the whole time I was smiling.When I got off the phone my jaw hurt! From then on we talked for hours on the phone. I could feel myself coming out of that dark place and being able to do things I hadn’t been able to do in months.

Beetlejuice

Twenty years ago I met my husband for the first time. I was studying for college mid-terms on a Saturday night before Halloween. I needed a break, so I headed down to the Brat Stop on I-94 in Kenosha,WI for some ice cream.The Brat Stop was a one-stop shop for cheese curds and beer, and, if you were in a dancing mood, you could enjoy live music in the bar. 
I skimmed the shelves and to my surprise, no ice cream. How could a place that boasted of dairy products not have ice cream? Majorly bummed, I walked into the bar and ran into a friend who waitressed there. She told me to stay for the Halloween party. I wore no costume except for a cut off tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix T-shirt and those awful tapered pants that could make the skinniest girl look like she carried a hot air balloon for a butt.The usual costumes walked by – a guy dressed as a devil, a woman dressed like a zebra, etc. Then I saw two men walk in. One guy was normal except he held a small alien that smoked and held a beer. The other was a dude in Beetlejuice clothing with baby powder in his hair.

From Friends to Forever

I am such a hopeless romantic and I love the idea of collecting love stories so I (humbly) submit my own:
 In the fall of 2005, I was a senior in college with a wonderful boyfriend, a great house and big plans to go to law school. Then Hurricane Katrina hit and my whole world turned upside down. On a somewhat irrational, and emotional whim I decided to become a volunteer teacher in the Republic of Marshall Islands.
I was assigned to the island of Majuro and placed in a house with 10 other volunteers, nine girls and one guy--Dave. To be perfectly honest, I thought he was cute but...
I found him super annoying. In reality, we couldn't have been more different, Dave spent the year planning a year-long trip to Thailand and I spent it applying to ivy league law schools. That being said, we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean living in a country with no television and limited internet access so there were a lot of late-night conversations and long walks on the beach.