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So... How Did You Meet Anyway?

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Doug and Mike

Doug and Mike met on gay dot com. It was an “almost didn’t happen” situation because if Mike had used his previous profile picture of him during Halloween in his pimp costume, then Doug wouldn’t have bothered to private message him in the first place – despite the fact that he had already passed the “cute” test.

From Mike’s vantage point, Doug’s picture wasn’t particularly cute as it made him look like he had a growth coming out of his neck. Nevertheless, Mike was a nice guy and responded.

It was a Sunday late in the summer of 2003 and their e-conversation lasted for quite some time that day and several subsequent e-conversations occurred. Doug lived in Saginaw (Michigan), an hour and a half away from Mike in Ann Arbor (also in Michigan).

“Next time you’re around, let’s meet up,” Mike suggested in one of those subsequent e-conversations.

As it happened, Doug was going to be in Ann Arbor for another date later in the week – though he told Mike he was just seeing a friend. Doug was casually dating the other guy, but wasn’t really sure if it was what he was looking for. He sent Mike an email a few days later confessing that the other friend was actually a second date. Mike didn’t mind since Doug at the time was “just the nice guy with a growth”.

Doug drove a shitty car, which he used as a litmus test for guys. Mike had a similar test in the form of the cheap and divey Fleetwood Diner in Ann Arbor. Mike did not have a car as he had given it to his younger brother for college, so Doug picked him up in his jalopy and Mike suggested they go to the Fleetwood.

Mike thought Doug’s car was very cool and the two chatted at the diner for a couple of hours about their lives, families, exes and the future.

After eating, Mike and Doug walked around for a bit. Mike suggested that they go see a movie, but Doug was not interested in paying for the art films that were showing in Ann Arbor since he had never heard of them and his home town of Saginaw never showed anything like that. Instead, they went back to Mike’s apartment and watched Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

Notorious for falling asleep while watching movies, Doug asked Mike if he could use his leg as a pillow and…

…A couple hours later, Doug got dressed to go on his other date.

As Doug was getting dressed, Mike told him that he could come back and stay overnight if he got too tired to drive home.

“I guess the other date went well,” Doug’s other date commented when Doug met him with a hickey on his neck.

Doug’s other date was a bartender with a pending job opportunity in Detroit, which is where he took Doug to watch him tend bar. After a couple of hours, the managers decided they liked him and asked if he would work the full night. Doug was ready to leave so “the other date” took him back to his place. Doug ended the date, left and decided to head back to Mike’s apartment.

At a fork in the road, Doug stopped to call Mike and asked him if his offer still stood. Mike said yes.

The next morning, Mike made pancakes for Doug. Afterwards, Doug went back home to Saginaw. The two kept in touch and both fell hard and fast for each other very quickly. After three months of phone conversations and a few mutual weekend visits, they discussed taking their relationship to the next step.

Doug told Mike that he wasn’t seeing anyone else and didn’t want to see anyone else. Mike then invited Doug to come home with him to New Orleans for the holidays. Mike made plans to have Doug stay with a friend since his family wasn’t comfortable with the whole gay thing and he knew his parents wouldn’t let Doug stay in their house. With the exception of Mike’s brother, Doug didn’t meet Mike’s family.  

For their anniversaries, Doug typically made cards since he was a poor college student. But on their fourth in September of 2007, it was Mike who made the card -- as a means of determining their status as boyfriends, partners or fiancés?

Doug and Mike were engaged that day and legally married on their fifth anniversary in
September of 2008 - in front of both sets of happy parents!