Do What You Have To Do

"Nobody said it was easy,
Nobody ever said it would be so hard."   Coldplay "The Scientist"
I met my fiance, in college. Yup, we're college sweethearts and our romance is just another college sweetheart romance. I basically stalked him because I found him interesting, quiet, mysterious, you know the type. I was always talking, talking, talking, and he just sat there and listened, wondering, I'm sure, why I kept seeking him out everyday. I found him fascinating and intellectual, not to mention, very handsome. But, we had very humble and controversial beginnings. I was in a relationship when we met with a guy I had been with for three years, and he was engaged (!) to a woman he'd been with for 5 years. My relationship had been going downhill for ages; my boyfriend was jealous, controlling, over-protective, not trusting, the whole nine yards. His relationship seemed to have been going downhill ever since they'd gotten engaged. She became suspicious, controlling, angry, and jealous. We became friends because we had a lot of classes together (our significant others were both out of school) and it really was just that! We were both failing physics, we were trying to get our requirements met so we could graduate. We each became a source of encouragement to the other.
As our friendship progressed, we also learned that we could both commiserate our relationship woes with each other. He felt trapped in his relationship, I felt apathetic in mine. Well, he got married and I stayed with my boyfriend. Then a whole bunch of things happened at once. I had finally had it with my boyfriend who was checking my e-mail on a regular basis and kicked him to the curb, he got tired of his now wife's accusing him of sleeping with everything that breathed and filed for divorce, she actually charged me with adultery, and my best friend at the time stopped talking to me because I was spending more time with him than with her! Umm, hello! relationships and drama aside, we were still failing physics!! It was incredibly overwhelming and became difficult to deal with, but out of all the turmoil and headache, a real, deep, unbreakable bond was forming between us. Throughout all this, he was a constant source of support, kindness, and understanding when I was being vilified by my finally ex-boyfriend and by his soon-to-be ex-wife. I returned that support when she went to his house and took all his belongings, including his dog, claiming they were hers. Once the dust had finally settled, we were both a little shaken but still standing. Through it all, we had stood by each other. I think we were both nervous about what we had done to aid the other, he made it perfectly clear he did not approve of my boyfriend, and I can't pretend I was supportive of his abusive marriage. Oddly enough, we both voiced that we didn't feel we deserved the other. We both felt like damaged goods. But when we realized that time apart felt like physical pain, we couldn't deny that our struggles had actually strengthened our bond. The mutual attraction was impossible to ignore. Even after all this, we finally graduated and I was about to go off to graduate school. He made the decision to come with me, and I was really nervous; at this point we'd only been "together" as a couple for a couple months, but I couldn't stand to be apart from him, so we moved in together. Well, four years go by and everyday I remember how much I love him because we persevered when impassable barriers arose. I don't think I could have done it on my own, and that's precisely why I fell in love with him (and vice versa)! We both dared to believe that something better was out there. Even though the experience was controversial and taxing, it was a small price to pay to find my soulmate. We're getting married in a year!
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