Beetlejuice

Twenty years ago I met my husband for the first time. I was studying for college mid-terms on a Saturday night before Halloween. I needed a break, so I headed down to the Brat Stop on I-94 in Kenosha,WI for some ice cream.The Brat Stop was a one-stop shop for cheese curds and beer, and, if you were in a dancing mood, you could enjoy live music in the bar. 
I skimmed the shelves and to my surprise, no ice cream. How could a place that boasted of dairy products not have ice cream? Majorly bummed, I walked into the bar and ran into a friend who waitressed there. She told me to stay for the Halloween party. I wore no costume except for a cut off tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix T-shirt and those awful tapered pants that could make the skinniest girl look like she carried a hot air balloon for a butt.The usual costumes walked by – a guy dressed as a devil, a woman dressed like a zebra, etc. Then I saw two men walk in. One guy was normal except he held a small alien that smoked and held a beer. The other was a dude in Beetlejuice clothing with baby powder in his hair.

Love Boat

My husband and I met in 1991 when I was on a cruise celebrating my divorce. He was on the same cruise along with nine friends. The water was extremely rough, and I was so sick that I was wandering around trying to get topside for some fresh air. He found me on the stairs,I was looking really ill. He asked me if he could help me, and I answered “I need outside”.He helped me find some open air on deck and introduced himself. At the time I was pretty tired of having guys bolt when they heard I had kids, so my introduction went like this “Hi, my name is Patti and I'm  twenty four and divorced with two kids.” As expected he said he had to go meet some friends and took off. The next night at dinner I realized he was at the next table and everyone at my table had just heard the story.They all encouraged me to go apologize for being rude. So, I walked up to the table and tapped him on the shoulder and said “I don’t know if you remember me from last night, but I just wanted to say thanks for helping me and I’m sorry I was so rude.” The man sitting next to him laughed and said "Wow! He wasn’t kidding. He did meet a cute red head last night, we thought he made you up." They invited my friend and me to hang with them that night, and we got to know each other over the course of the trip. He was in Illinois and I was in Pennsylvania, so I knew I could never see him once the cruise was over. I was wrong. He called me often over the next few months, and then offered to buy me a ticket to come visit him, because he knew as a single mom I couldn’t afford it myself. Well, love bloomed and he flew me out once a month for about a year. He did get cold feet at one point and broke up with me for a few months and then called to explain that he was sorry. It was just that after his divorce he really didn’t want to go down that path again, but now he realized he wanted to be with me. His friends later told me they were telling him to call me, too. We saw each other for about six months more and then he said “Why don’t you think about moving to Illinois with your kids, because these flights are expensive and it’s almost cheaper to buy you a house.” Within about three months we found a house that he purchased, and me and my children moved. We have lived in Illinois since 1993 and were married in 2002. We will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary on October 13^th and will be together 20 years this Thanksgiving.

Finding Home

They say that relationships are mirrors.  Women’s and men’s relationships with the opposite sex reflect their inner relationship.   Over the years, Melinda had put a fair amount of work into defining and finding her “inner man with heart” - a positive inner masculine figure. 

“I had this dream at the time when I’d decided to stop hopping between the US and the UK and finally found home inside of myself. At the time of the dream, I wrote: ‘Last night I dreamt that we met .  .  .    I looked up and saw that you had entered the room and were standing, looking at me and smiling.  Your hair was longish, silvery-white and swept behind your ears.  Lamp black eyebrows.  You were wearing a black suit with a black open necked shirt, no tie, like an artist.  I pointed at you and smiled.  Even though I had never seen you before, I recognized you.  You walked over and sat down across me, facing me.  Up close, your face was tanned, a bit full beneath your chin.  I cannot recall the colour of your eyes.

Then you stood behind me and covered my eyes with your hands and told a funny story or anecdote which made me laugh.  You had a distinct speaking voice with a rich timbre.  Then you sat opposite me again and opened a portfolio of your artwork and some other papers.  You showed me some paintings you had done on acetate.  Translucent paintings in Chagall-like colours – night sky blue, crimson and a deep and wild green.”

Around this time,  having finally decided to settle in the UK, stop looking for a mate and just get grounded in herself, Melinda took a trip to Birmingham – at the heart of the UK - for a long weekend to explore the city and meet up with Nicky Getgood, a fellow blogger whom she’d met online. In the course of the evening, Melinda was to meet “the silver-haired, sea green-eyed man of my dreams – Steve.”

Pinky and Jean

It was Halloween 1957 when we had neighbors moving in across the street. Being a close knit neighborhood, they were welcomed by everyone. There were seven kids; five girls and two boys. My two brothers and sister and I became friends with them all right off! I was in the 6th grade and Jean was in the 4th. We walked to school together and became best friends. On April 3rd 1958 I gave her an ID bracelet with "pinky" engraved on it, so that meant we were going steady. Through our junior high years we got very close, I even became an usher at church so I could be near her; she was in the choir. Nothing really changed in high school until my senior year when we kind of separated for a bit. The biggest fallout came when I had a girl flown in from Laconia NH for my Senior Prom. After a couple semesters at UMass Amherst, I got drafted in August of 1965 and went to Korea for 18 months. She was seeing someone pretty steadily when I came home three years later, but after being back for maybe a month at the most we got back together. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were married on January 25th 1969. It was a great 35 years till she died of cancer in November 2005.The ID bracelet is still with her. I will never get over losing Jean, but I was lucky to find love again. In 2009 I married Jean's older sister.
She has made these last years a special time in my life.