Follow Your Heart

 Ding dong!  The front doorbell rang.  I rushed to open the door.  This was the first time I met Marcus.  He came to England to travel for a couple of years and arrived at our house to meet up with his uncle and aunt visiting us from South Africa.  I was living with my parents at the time in their lovely English house with my son Josh.  We also recently immigrated to the United Kingdom from South Africa.

Our first meeting was spent sightseeing in Windsor with the family, chatting and drinking coffee.  We kept in contact and for the next 3 months spent hours on the phone chatting.  Christmas arrived and my family was heading to Torquay, Devon on holiday.  My mom (maybe with alternative motives) invited Marcus to join us.  Her reasoning, “the poor guy is alone in a strange country with no family to celebrate Christmas.” 

We had a great time together on holiday, exploring new places and getting to know each other.  The more time we spent together the more we enjoyed each other’s company.  The day we returned from holiday was cold and frosty.  We lit the fire in the lounge and sat right in front of it as we waited for the rest of the house to warm up.  I still remember how we started playing “20 questions” learning more about each other.  Every question was a revelation of something we had in common or liked in each other. 

There was a growing affection, as we laughed, shared and chatted together.  And then on New Year’s Eve, at a house party, as the fireworks were exploding outside, Marcus kissed me.  It was a quick, small peck of a kiss.  But it hit me straight in the heart and it sealed the deal.

The next three months we were head-over heels in-love.  We didn’t have a lot of money, so we spent most of the time at my parent’s house, chatting into the early hours of the morning, drinking coffee, cooking together.  Marcus started to show his interest in me to my parents, by offering to work in the garden and even cooked a mother’s day meal for my mom! 

In April we went on holiday together to Athens, Greece.  It was our first trip together.  We both love travelling.  The experience of travelling together was exhilarating and I knew that I wanted to explore more interesting places with this man.

Marcus had to return to South Africa for 6 weeks after our holiday together.  It was very hard to be apart and we missed each other terribly.  But something else started happening in my heart.  I was afraid to commit.  When Marcus returned to the UK, I was suddenly cold towards him.  Try as he may, I continued to turn a cold shoulder.  In my own mind I was struggling with past fears of rejection and feelings of being unworthy.  The poor man could not understand my reactions towards his advances.  This continued for 5 months.  

In desperation Marcus contacted his father in South Africa.  “I know she is the girl I want to marry, but she is pushing me away and I just can’t understand why!”  He told his dad.  The wise reply from his dad was, “Stay another month and continue to push the door.  If by the end of this month nothing happens come back to South Africa and put it behind you.”

Well at the same time, my heart was wrestling with my head.  I loved him and enjoyed spending time with him, but something in me stopped me from wanting to make a commitment.  I in turn consulted my mom and she encouraged me to be open and allow time to show what could grow out of a relationship.  I listened.

Before the month was up, we started talking again.  The next month Marcus took the leap of asking me to be his “steady girlfriend”.  He worked out a treasure hunt that took me from one place in my house to the next where we had sat in the garden and chatted, or brushed our teeth together or went for a cycle.  Each place giving me clues to the next memory.  And at the end, right at the back of my parents beautiful garden, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Well the rest is history.  We were soon engaged in South Africa and a year later married.  We continued to live in the United Kingdom and now have 3 gorgeous boys.  Our love for each other grows year on year.  I am so grateful for that month of grace and that God has blessed me with such an incredibly honourable and steadfast man.